Archive for January, 2012

Marriage Monday: Me, Me, ME!

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Being married has taught me many wonderful things about life, God, myself, people, and what is important. One thing I wasn’t prepared to learn when I got married was how selfish I am. Serving self is so insidious; you barely know it is there until you have another person daily looking into your life. When Devon and I were first married, I was simply not prepared to have all my selfish thoughts and actions brought into crystal clear focus. Marriage was a tool that God used, and continues to use, to refine my character.

There is no room for self indulgence within relationships, especially marriage. If you want a fast track to poisoning your marriage, then focus on yourself, your wants, and what makes you happy. Our normal is to focus on ourselves; to do what makes us feel good. It comes natural to get our needs met before we worry about anyone else’s.

What are the results of two people serving themselves within a marriage? Unhappiness. This is not intuitive. It would seem that if we are seeking to make sure we get our needs met then we would be happy. Logic would drive us to think that when we are the king of our castle, life has to be good. Selfishness may bring us temporary happiness, but it is always fleeting.

So how do we extract the poison of being self serving from our marriages? Jesus lets us know in John 13:34. He tells us to “Love one another.” I know you are thinking, “Well thanks captain obvious. That is why we got married in the first place, because we loved one another.” I didn’t say it, Jesus did. But see the problem is, we are noun loving. We are making love a thing, a feeling, something sentimental and valentiney. We need to make love a verb, an action, a service. To love correctly involves doing something for the other person, and if we are doing something for the other person we are not serving ourselves.

The Apostle Paul builds on this idea. In Ephesians 5, he offers some heavy hitting advice on how to have a healthy marriage. If you haven’t read it, it would behoove (love that word) you to do so. Paul admonishes us to “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” How do we submit to one another in marriage? We put the other person’s needs first. It is where I say “Devon, you come first.” Devon replies, “I don’t think so, you are the priority here.” “No mam, I am here to see that your needs are met pronto.” Submitting to one another means we make the other person the priority. How often do we really see that? So often, it seems like marriages are every man for himself. Me, Me, ME! Mine, Mine, MINE. There is no room for a case of the “me monsters” in marriage.

The interesting thing is, when we submit to one another, when we make our spouse the priority, when we make love a verb, our needs end up being met in a way we could never imagine. You see, when our spouse is placed first, they want to meet our needs all the more. Then there is this wonderful circular relationship born. A magical dance that ebbs and flows between two people in love that are meeting one another’s needs.

So how are you doing? Got a case of the “me monsters”? Are you at the center of your own universe? Are you leaving your spouse to meet their own needs? Maybe things would look different in your marriage if you made love a verb, if you practiced mutual submission, if you served your spouse.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed
Josh

Question: Name a practical way we can serve our spouse?

Donkey Basketball

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What do donkeys and basketball have in common? Not a whole lot really, but they are pretty fun when you put them together. Last night I got to play some “donkey basketball”. It is basically normal basketball, except you can only score if you are perched on the back of a donkey.

As we played, I was able to confirm a long held stereotype about these four legged bundles of fur, they are stubborn. In hopes of forming a quick bond, I endearingly named my burro Babalouie. I really don’t think it helped much. In fact, when I called him Babalouie he would shoot me his version of the donkey stank eye. When I wanted him to run, he dug in. Times I needed him to stop, he would try to drag me.

It was interesting to watch the other players. One player was bucked off. Some were being pulled by their donkeys. Other had donkeys that just did not want to do anything, and for the most part they didn’t. My favorite moment of the night was watching one player take off full sprint holding on to the donkey’s reins while the donkey stayed firmly in place. It looked rather painful, for the player that is.

Dumb old donkeys, they are some stubborn creatures. I find that there is another creature that has them beat however, people. We can be even more pigheaded donkeyheaded.

We shortchange ourselves by being obstinate all too often. Sometimes it keeps us from mending relationships, and we stew in our bitterness. It keeps us from saying we are sorry when we need to. It causes us difficulty because we are too stubborn to enlist help.  It can even put a wedge between us and God. At times, I am all the more worse than my buddy Babalouie. God requests something that goes against the grain and my stubbornness kicks in.

What if we let our pride fall down?  What if we followed God’s lead, even when the request is something we don’t really want to do? I think our lives would be all the better for it.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

What do you find we are often stubborn about?

Is Faith Blind?

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Every time I hear a Christian refer to their belief in Christ with the term “blind faith” I cringe. No worldview should be built on blind faith. While I will concede that at times we have questions that are challenging where we are left wanting for greater explanation, I refuse to accept my most precious beliefs blindly. Blind belief means we are in the dark. We hold to something without good reason. There are many good reasons for why I hold to my Christian beliefs.The very fact that the adjective “blind” is sometimes placed before faith is indication that the term “faith” does not carry the connotation of being blind. Faith is meant to be informed.

Believers must be encouraged to engage their faith with their minds. I am not saying that faith is to be strictly reduced to the use of logic at the expense of emotional expression. I am saying that we have been commanded to use our minds in seeking truth. Luke 10:27 reminds us that we are to “love the LORD your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength, and with all your mind.” Faith is an act of will, emotional engagement, spiritual sensitivity, and intellectual fervor. If we ignore any part of this command it is to our detriment. So often, it seems the mind lacks emphasis in regards to our faith. Perhaps this is because it commands a great deal of discipline and hard work.

We cannot afford to disengage our minds when it comes to our faith. Ravi Zacharias states, “What your mind rejects, your life will eventually reject also, however close it may be to your heart.” One area where Satan is greatly succeeding is his attack on the mind. Let’s make sure we are keeping the commandment to love God with our minds. Read. Seek. Study. Ask questions. Spend time in the word. Meditate on it. Know what those skeptical or hostile to Christianity are saying. Be informed.

Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. – I Corinthians 16:13

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Marriage Monday: Dirty Little Secret.

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“You can get a large audience together for a strip-tease act-that is, to watch a girl undress on the stage. Now suppose you came to a country where you could fill a theater by simply bringing a covered plate on the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let everyone see, just before the lights went out, that it contained a mutton chop or a bit of bacon, would you not think that in that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food? And would not anyone who had grown up in a different world think there was something equally queer about the state of the sex instinct among us?” – C.S. Lewis

To say that the appetite for sex is indulgent within our culture would be a gross understatement. The distortion of sexuality could rightly be labeled a pandemic. Being a pastor and counselor, I have worked extensively with people and families who have felt the destruction that comes from viewing pornography. It ruins marriages, distorts minds, contributes to abuse, disrupts families, leads to premature sexualization in children, and causes spiritual fragmentation. I cannot exaggerate the danger of viewing pornography. It is something that must be addressed in marriages (and families) across America.

First, some statistics:
-1 in 3 porn viewers are women
-70% of men, aged 18-24, visit porn sites in a month
-12% of websites on the internet are pornographic
-Nearly 25 million pornographic sites are in existence
-Every second, over $3,000 is spent on internet pornography
-Over 28,000 internet users are viewing porn every second
-40 million Americans are regular users of porn sites
-25% of all search engine requests are pornography related
-68 million searches are conducted a day that are pornography related
-35% of all internet downloads are pornographic
-There are 116,000 searches for child pornography daily
-The average age at which a child first sees porn online is 11
-Every 39 minutes a new pornographic video is being created in the U.S.

Sexuality is sacred, but it has been distorted, defamed, and massacred. I believe it is tempting to think that surely, these numbers can’t be representative of a Christian population, but research shows that at least half of men sitting in the pews of churches struggle with the use of pornography. No one is immune. Everyone is capable of having their sexual appetite fed with the poison of pornography. From my experience, I would suppose the percentages of Christians consuming pornographic material to be much higher than 50%. It is such a habit plagued by guilt and shame, which individuals do not want to readily admit that they struggle in this area. It is also an area that isn’t dealt with as often in church.

Though we might not want to think that we or our spouse could struggle with pornography, this issue must be dealt with in marriages (and families). There must be open dialogue about this topic.  Have you discussed the potential problem of pornography with your spouse? Are you taking safeguards in this area? Need I remind you that 7 out of 10 men and 3 out of 10 women struggle with pornography? Should I point out again that 50% of Christian men struggle with pornography (although I argue this
statistic is much higher)?

Let’s not live in denial. We must not be passive. Let’s chop off the snakes head before it continues to grow and devour. Pornography is a difficult addiction. It thrives in secret. Sexually explicit material is readily available. One need not even leave their home. It meets a physical drive that is powerful. It forms a behavioral ritual that is commanding. It releases chemicals in the brain that also feed into the addiction cycle. Pornography is a savage beast that is indifferent to the plight of your marriage and is extremely difficult to escape from, but it can be done.

Are you struggling with pornography? Do not think that you can beat this alone. There is no way around asking for help. First things first, tell someone else. Get some information about sexual addiction. Have several people hold you accountable. Remove any source that can feed your addiction. Participate in marriage counseling and get to the root of the problem. It will not go away without drastic intervention.

Have you and your spouse had a discussion about pornography? My wife and I are not so naïve as to think it could never develop into a problem in our marriage, so we take proactive steps. Internet history is always there for the viewing. We have one another’s passwords to every account. I do not flip through channels haphazardly at night. We have an open relationship that I could go to my wife if I ever felt temptation in this area. I have also pledged to my wife that I will tell her should I ever view pornography. We guard one another’s hearts and eyes. Devon doesn’t watch anything on television that could lead to lust.

Our marriages are too valuable and sexuality too sacred to be destroyed by this vicious beast. As long as it remains a “dirty little secret”, it will continue to thrive. If left untreated, it will be your ultimate undoing. Choose to sin, choose to suffer. Let’s keep the lines of communication open about this topic with our spouse.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Becoming…

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Every day that marches forward, we are becoming something. What is it? What do you want to become? Who do you want to become? What do you want life to look like in the future? What would you like to accomplish? What do you need to change?

For some, it is an improved marriage, a better golf score, a closer relationship with Christ, a healthier lifestyle, or to handle finances better. For others it might be being a better parent, learning to play guitar, changing a bad habit, making more friends, or getting involved at church.

We are all becoming something. Every single day, we either get closer to who we want to be or further away. Time is a cruel mistress. It will chew up the “you” that you want to become and spit “you” out, before you ever actualize your dreams. Sometimes we think that we can remain stagnant, when in reality we are always heading in some direction. Our lives traipse onward, closer to realizing our dreams or saunter in the opposite direction.

There is often a vast disparity between what we tell ourselves we desire, and what we do to actually become what we want. Ever since I was a kid, I wanted writing to be an active part of my life. I hoped maybe one day to even publish something. I would tell myself, “one day, I am going to write.” It sounded great. Then last year it clicked. I want to write. I want to be better at writing. I want to share my thoughts with others. I want to share perspective. I would love to be published in some degree. What was I doing to move closer to this? Absolutely nothing, so I took a step. I started blogging. Then I took another step, I became consistent as to when I posted. I have plans to further this dream along in the future. Before, I was moving further away from my goal by allowing time to strip me of any meaningful progress, by allowing other good things to distract me, by not taking any steps to get closer to what I wanted.

It is really humorous, because we do this in so many different capacities. Permit me a few examples:
-I want to be closer to my spouse, so I will spend time with friends, on hobbies, and work.
-I want a closer relationship with Christ, so I will watch a movie instead of spending any   time in prayer or reading my Bible.
-I want to be healthier, so I will take a cheese Coney and chili cheese tots please. Can you make that a large?
-I want to handle my finances better, so yea just put that on my credit card.
-I want to make more friends, so I will just stay home this weekend. Thanks for inviting me.

I have noticed this gap so often in my life. So, why do we say one thing and do another? Sometimes, it is just pure procrastination, plain and simple. Other times, it’s a lack of insight. Often, it is us deceiving ourselves. We set goals for the future to relieve the anxiety of not putting any effort or energy into them. “I will start a diet Monday.” “First of the year I am going to start writing.” “I will spend time with the kids tomorrow.” These future oriented statements let us breathe easy in the moment and relieve the guilt or anxiety we feel for not making progress. So we go through life in a future oriented mindset and escape the daily negative impositions. The only problem is, eventually time runs out.

Who do you want to become? What do you want to be? What would you like your life to look like? You are either moving closer to what you desire or it is becoming smaller in the distance. Be honest with yourself. Start now. Be present. Enlist some discipline. Set goals. Break those goals into smaller goals. Don’t make your goals global. List specific goals that you can measure. Evaluate your progress often. Seek accountability.

We are all becoming something.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Question: What or who do you want to become?

Read This Blog and Get Three Million Dollars

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Okay, full disclosure right at the outset. You won’t get three million dollars from reading this blog, but it grabbed your attention, right? Maybe it even gave you warm feelings for a few minutes. Perhaps you even thought of all the things you could do with three million dollars. It’s a nice thought, isn’t it?

The truth is, just reading this blog won’t make you copious amounts of cash. But, I am here to tell you that by simply following Christ, and doing it well, you could become very wealthy. Wait, that isn’t right either. Maybe you should just try working hard and spending less. I think that is your best bet.

Recently, I was involved in a discussion about a certain pastor whom I shall refer to as “him that shall not be named.” He pastors one of the supposedly largest and fastest growing churches in America. Seven million Americans tune in to gobble up his sermons each week. I am sure he is a nice chap. He has a wonderful smile, very white and symmetrical teeth. I like that.

“He who shall not be named” is very encouraging and positive. I love positive people. We need that in a world full of problems. He likes to toss around pithy phrases like “you can have your best life now”, “every day can be a Friday”, “God wants you to be independently wealthy”, and “you are good enough, you are smart enough, and doggonit, people like you.” Okay, maybe he doesn’t say all those things, but you get my drift. (Have I mentioned that I love positive people and positive thinking?)

The only problem is, “He who shall not be named” doesn’t care much for talking about the negative stuff. Sin? That’s yucky! People just make mistakes. Hell? Wait a cotton-pickin minute, that is a four letter word my friend. Jesus? He has many faces and can appear to people through many different avenues. Let’s not get exclusive. Okay? Let’s just point out the positives about Christianity. Why even focus on the negatives?

So what is wrong with this approach? Much. For starters, it’s a dilution of Christianity’s Gospel message. Before one can address sin and come to Christ, they first have to realize they are a sinner and deal with the sin. Yes, God’s love and grace should be highlighted. It should be screamed from rooftops and emblazoned with neon lights. But, God loves us enough to tell us we have a problem that we are incapable of fixing called sin. In fact, God says we are dead in our sins. To only speak of God in the positive and gloss over humanity’s problems and consequences cheapens the Gospel.

Trials are a part of the Christian life. It is unavoidable. If successful Christian living means wealth, health, and having no problems, then the Apostle Paul must have been one lousy Christian. He did without a lot, was snake bitten, shipwrecked, stoned, beat within inches of his life, and ultimately executed. In fact, Jesus taught the believer to expect trials. The good news is, we can find happiness, peace, joy, and perseverance in Christ during the midst of hardship and suffering. This doesn’t necessarily include gobs of money, fine dining, and having a Friday feeling on Monday morning.  C.S. Lewis stated that God even uses the trials to a greater extent in our lives than the pleasurable times to grow us, but what did he know?

When people are promised wealth and smooth sailing for following Christ and this doesn’t come to fruition, then there is ample room for disappointment, disillusionment , and doubt.  Contrary to the old adage, what we don’t know can, in fact, hurt us. Getting false or one-sided information about Christianity has present and eternal ramifications.

I am all for sharing encouragement, positivity, love, grace, and forgiveness, but both sides of the coin must be examined. There are many situations that positive thinking will not help us avoid, no matter how much we would like to believe it. Jesus loved people enough to tell them the absolute truth, both good and bad.

Speaking into the lives of people on a weekly basis is a huge responsibility, especially when that count is in the millions. Let’s love others enough to speak truth in love.

Walk good. Love wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Let’s talk about it:
1. What would you do with three million dollars?
2. How do you feel about a sugar coated message?

Marriage Monday: Keeping the Backdoor Shut

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When it comes to marriage, we find a lot of emphasis placed on romance, compatibility (e-harmony anyone?), communication, and the like. All of these are important things to address (and perhaps will be in future posts) but none of these will keep the backdoor closed in a marriage.

So, how does one keep the backdoor sealed tight in their marriage? When the going gets tough, what is to stop you or your spouse from riding off into the sunset without looking back? One word. Choice. Obviously, we choose our spouse from the beginning (unless in some rare instance you had a prearranged marriage). Yet, I think we often forget to keep choosing them. The choice isn’t a onetime deal, it is a lifelong process.

Every marriage gets to a point where one or both partners want to throw in the proverbial towel. For all the in love, lovers out there wearing rose colored glasses who doubt the authenticity of that statement, just ask around some. I have a habit of asking couple’s that have been married for extended years the question, “Has there ever been a time when you wanted out or were tempted to call it quits?” I have yet to find a couple answer in the negative. Yet, they were able to push through and have a happy, thriving marriage. How is this done? They made a choice.

When we first get married the choice is always easy. Our spouse’s vices are “charming” and their annoying habits are “endearing”.  The good is maximized and the negative is minimized. Then time progress, and those vices and habits aren’t so charming anymore. Stress, deadlines, demands, children, finances, conflict, morning breath and a host of other things crop up amidst the couple’s relationship. Problems arise where it might be tempting to cut and run. It is then we have a choice to make.

It is easy to choose your spouse when you are bathing in a bathtub of money, everyone is healthy, your children behave like Beaver Cleaver, you win employee of the year on an annual basis at work, and your spouse treats you to candle light dinners and lavish vacations on a monthly basis. Sure, anyone can choose their spouse when things are good. But the secret to healthy relationships is choosing your spouse when things turn south.

Culture feeds us the idea, that marriage must always equal happiness. Naturally, one should experience happiness in their marriage. That is obviously the goal of a healthy marriage, but sometimes you have to be unhappy a while and work through it. Sometimes choosing is more important than being happy. Yet, culture says, “If you aren’t happy then leave. You deserve to be happy.” So we see people do just that. Every time they hit the unhappy zone, they bounce. Whenever difficult problems arise, they hit the bricks. Then what happens? They find a new relationship and find themselves in the exact same spot, just with a little more baggage.

No relationship is perfect. How can they be? You have two imperfect people, bouncing their imperfectness off of one another.  The answer is not running from the problems. The answer is choosing to stay. The answer is choosing your spouse even when times are bad.  The answer is choosing to love your partner, even when you don’t want to be around them. Problems don’t dissolve just because we don’t want to face them. In fact, problems tend to snowball until they are addressed. They follow you home day after day like an old stray mutt, and they will follow you from one relationship to the next.

Marriage is a lifelong choice, from “I do” until death. If we ever forget that, expect trouble. There will be times throughout life where choosing our spouse is the easiest choice we have to make, but there will be times when the choice is the only thing that will get you through rough waters.

There is immense comfort in knowing that both partners in a marriage are committed to choosing one another. That whatever may come, each can rest in knowing that the other will choose them even when things are difficult. It allows trust and hope to flourish like nothing else.

Marriage is many things, but above all, it is a continual choice. Choose your spouse and keep the backdoor in your relationship nailed shut.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Let’s talk about it. How does choosing our spouse look on a daily basis?

Big News!

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It is fun to have big news from time to time, isn’t it? Our son, Hayden, turned one this past November. It has been an amazing year watching him grow and learn. Honestly, I don’t know who has grown more, me or him? God truly uses your children to teach you so much about life, what is important, and about your relationship to Him. To see his dependency on me and his mom, forces me to daily be reminded of my dependency on God. We just found out this week that we will be expecting another child in September. Devon and I are extremely excited! We are going to try and sleep in every chance we get in the coming months. We ask that you keep us and the new baby on the way in your prayers.

I knew that 2012 was going to be a great year. It is off to a wonderful start. We are really ecstatic. So many goals we have been working toward stand a good chance of coming to pass this year. We truly find ourselves blessed with more than we deserve.

Thanks for reading and allowing me to share my thoughts and personal moments. Thanks for sharing yours as well. Thanks for walking with me. I hope that we all walk good this year.

“I wonder what sort of a tale weve fallen into?” –J.R.R. Tolkien

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Can My Truth Be Different From Yours?

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Recently, I was having a discussion with several individuals about our belief systems. Some of us had similar beliefs, while others held divergent worldviews. During the discussion one person stated, “Well, that may be true for you, but it isn’t for me.” He was asserting that my reality or truth was different than his.

Is it possible for people to hold differing truths and both be correct? Can something be true for you and not for me? Many people will tell us this is perfectly rational, and not to mention accepting and inclusive. This is known as relativism. The ideology behind relativism is that people can hold two opposing beliefs and both be correct. While that is a nice sentiment, it does not conform to reality.

If I believe it’s perfectly healthy to drink cyanide, and you believe it will kill me, does that mean I will live? If I believe that $50+$50=$1,000, will my bank be okay with that math? If I believe extra-marital relationships are healthy, and my wife says they are detrimental to a marriage, will it be okay if I cheat on my wife? I can certainly guarantee you that she won’t think so. When it comes to truth, there can simply be only one reality. Truth is determined not by opinion, but instead by what is an accurate reflection of reality.

When it comes to Christianity, I do not adhere to it simply because “it works for me.” I do not accept the teachings of Christ because I think they are a good version of the truth. I affirm Christianity because I think it is an accurate expression of what is real.

Relativism, or the belief that two opposing beliefs can both be true, is self contradictory. A relativist will tell you that there is no objective truth that applies to everyone. What is the problem with that statement? The relativist has just made an objective statement about truth saying there is no objective truth. So basically, what he just said is meaningless.  He is saying that it is true there is no truth. Relativism is broken from the start. Something is true for everyone or it is true for no one.

What I have noticed about people who hold to the idea that truth is relative, or that truth is different for various people, is that they are selective in applying it. They don’t question the Theory of Gravity, the boiling point of water, mathematical equations, or musical scales. Instead, they apply their relative perspective on matters of God’s existence, issues of morality, religion, and ethical practices. As an experiment, the next time someone says that truth is relative, try stealing their car. Just tell them, “Stealing is only wrong according to your worldview, it is perfectly acceptable in mine” and see how they react. (Don’t really steal their car, that was just for an example. You have to clarify these things you know.) Relativists seem to lose their “no objective truth” mentality when their rights are impinged upon.

So why do some hold to the idea that truth is relative? Because it allows them to live exactly as they please. It frees them to be in control of their own lives without answering to anyone. They are disentangled from the demands and consequences of God. They are no longer constrained by morality and can do what they desire.

The problem is, whether one concedes to truth or not, it will eventually catch up with them. Truth is truth, regardless of whether or not we choose to accept it. In his recent book How Do You Kill 11 Million People, Andy Andrews makes this statement, “If it is correct that ‘you shall know the truth, and the truth shall set you free’ then is it possible that if you don’t know the truth, its absence is bondage?” I believe this is a resounding yes. When we don’t know the truth, or refuse to find or accept the truth, we live in bondage.

There is one truth. It reflects what is real. Look for it. Heed it. Live by it. Overthrow the bondage of living in its absence. There are millions of competing ideas, but only one can be right. Test the claims people make. Do they hold up when they are set before reality? Examine all claims closely!

“For the weapons of our warfare are not carnal but mighty in God for pulling down strongholds,  casting down arguments and every high thing that exalts itself against the knowledge of God, bringing every thought into captivity to the obedience of Christ.” II Corinthians 10:4-5

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.

Josh

How To Change Your Spouse In Two Words

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I get to work with couples often, and it is pretty common to hear: “We are having problems in our marriage, problems for which I have no responsibility in. Could you please fix my spouse?” Spouses have been blaming their partner for thousands of years. When Adam indulged himself with the forbidden fruit, what did he say? “It was her fault. Blame her. She gets the comeuppance. You really should have stopped with me. This chick is trouble with a capital T.”

So often, we look at our relationship and think, “Our marriage would be fine if I could just change my spouse.” Well, I am going to tell you how to do just that in two simple words? Sounds too easy, huh? Two measly words. Maybe you are thinking, “I can really change my spouse in two simple words? Like, for real?” Yep. You surely can.

Are you ready? Are you ready to hear the secret formula for partner permutation? If you really want to change your spouse, then CHANGE YOURSELF. Those are the two simple words. Change yourself. If you want to have a better marriage, then change yourself.

No one person can be held accountable for all the problems that exist between two people. Now, don’t get me wrong, one person can have the fattest half of the problems. I see couples frequently where one person contributes majority of the problems, but each person must take ownership for their share.

Here is a secret. You can’t change your spouse. You don’t have that much power. In fact, you really don’t have the ability to control much at all in this life (even though we like to think we can). The only thing you can really control is….well…..you……..just…….you.

So what would happen if instead of exerting so much energy into changing our spouse, we instead spent that energy on changing ourselves? I can promise, it is time much better spent.

Sometimes, not always, when our spouse sees us changing it prompts them to try too. Then this beautiful reciprocal relationship is born where one spouse does what is pleasing to the other while the other does the same. One person has to make the first move. So how about it? Wanna change your spouse? Then change yourself.

You can forward this post to your spouse if you want. Not really. This is about changing yourself. Remember? If you were fixing to send this to partner go back to the top and read slower. To change your spouse, change yourself.

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.
Josh

Hope you enjoyed today’s post. This is the first installment of a series we will be looking out for the next several weeks entitled “Marriage Monday.”

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