Despicable Me!

Usually on Mondays, I do a post on marriage. This week, that just did not happen. Why? Because I was being despicable.  I had a bad attitude Sunday night and put myself to bed early, and Monday was pure chaos. The week started off on a negative note. My wife’s dad is was still having some serious health problems and we found out at the doctor on Monday that we need to see a specialist due to some potential (although unlikely) complications with our pregnancy and future daughter, Hadley. We spent much of the day Monday in the doctor’s office or at the hospital.

I don’t know if you are familiar with Charles Stanley’s anacronym HALT, but it stands for: Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired. When you are in any of these states, he says you should halt. That is, take a step back, talk to God, and find your center. Monday, I was firing on all four HALT cylinders. Not only was I not heeding to the HALT, but I was very behind on work, which is far worse for giving me a bad attitude than the combination of being hungry, angry, lonely, and tired. Throughout the day my wife was a champ, often trying to lift my spirits, but I was completely incorrigible.

When faced with trying days, challenging situations, or just days when you feel that you have every right in the world to be a grump, you can either lean into God love and mercy or you can pull away in the opposite direction. You can turn toward your spouse or you can turn away. You can find rest and encouragement or you can choose to keep a bad attitude and live in the land of funk (the gross funk, not the funky funk that Coolio sang about on his fantastic voyage).

Monday, I chose to pull away from God and turn away from my spouse, both of which were bad ideas. When we choose to pull away from God we reap the unfortunate consequences of that and find ourselves in short supply of peace, joy, patience, etc. When we turn away from our spouse instead of turning toward them we feel like we are fighting alone. It is a much better idea to trust God with the course of your day (and life) and walk side by side with your spouse through trying times.

The week has gotten much better. I’m not hungry anymore; in fact, I got some Chic-Fil-A that day on the way home. I am not angry anymore because I had no one to be angry at. I am not lonely anymore because I turned toward my spouse. I am not tired anymore….wait…I am still tired, but I can deal with that. Plus, not to mention, I have worked my tail off this week and caught up on a lot of work.

I am thankful for fresh new day. I am thankful for grace. I am thankful for the God who loves me and offers mercy. I am thankful for the amazing friend He has given me in a wife.

Hungry? Angry? Lonely? Tired? Behind?  Busy? Worried? Constipated (just making sure you were paying attention)? Frustrated? Always lean into God.  Always turn toward your spouse.

God chooses what we go through; we choose how we go through it.” – John Maxwell

Walk good. Live wise. Be blessed.


  • efchristi says:

    This is the first time I have heard about HALT and will remember it. It makes a lot of sense.

    I think you had a big problem with ‘why me’ Monday and chose to ignore all the help God or Devon offered you. I wonder what you dId to decide all was against you personally. Devon is an angel! I am glad she is in your life to help keep you centered. You need to turn to her more often.

    I too get grumpy when I am hungry and seem to take it out on anyone in my way. Ann keeps me centered by making sure there is something to put in my stomach to calm me some. A candy bar, a cookie or a soda anything to make my stomach feel like it is working again. She is my angel!

    I have your family in my daily prayers and will add your father-in-law. I hope all is well with him now and also the baby and Devon. You didn’t mention Hayden so I trust he is doing well.

    Sleep well, eat a balanced diet, stay centered and give Devon a hug from me for she truly is an angel.

    Walk daily with God at your side!

    Your friend,


  • Joe says:

    Good reminder Josh and very refreshing. Thanks for the Post!

  • Tracie says:

    Thanks for this post Josh! I am quite good at being a “Despicable Me!” I needed the reminder that that is not what God wants me to do or how He wants me to act. Must remember to HALT and turn to God and Will.

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