Marriage Monday: Help Your Man Cheat!
A couple staying together, forever, and being completely faithful to one another is completely outmoded in these modern times, right? I mean, what an absurd idea to think that two people could say “I do” and then never spend the night with anyone else for the rest of their lives. Author Holly Hill previously advocated the idea that some people are not designed to be monogamous. Some people are hard wired to cheat. She once said, “We just have to be honest about the way nature created us, and we have to work with nature instead of working against her. This isn’t rocket science. This is what every man already knows and I think what every woman deep down already knows.”
Now, she isn’t advocating that you can just run around all willy-nilly and do whatever you want with whomever you want, that would be absurd. No, she has a much more sane idea, negotiated infidelity. Yes, a couple should sit down and discuss the fact that they sleep with other people outside of the relationship. I mean, can we really expect men to be faithful? What an old fashioned and silly idea. Boys will be boys, right? Hill once stated, “It’s better to walk the dog on a leash than let it escape through an unseen hole in the back fence.” So just let your man cheat, and you can as well, as long as you both lay down some ground rules. Her rules were: no sleeping over, no romantic weekend getaways, and absolutely no spooning.
So her and her boyfriend did just that. They removed any fixed boundaries around the sacredness of the marital bed (well, sort of, they weren’t married to begin with) and installed a revolving door in their sexual lives. She fully expected that this would keep their relationship in a healthy place. Sounds like the ideal way to keep your marriage in shipshape, right?
So guess what happened to their relationship? It crashed and burned. It is amazing that someone with a degree in psychology could get this turned around. It is actually rather sad. Interestingly enough, Holly Hill recently retracted her views on marriage and monogamy. It turns there is something to being faithful to your spouse. All the sex in the world is no replacement for a committed, intimate, life-long relationship. Unfortunately, she had to find this out the hard way. She had to accrue a suitcase full of emotional pain to understand that the way God instituted marriage is correct. I am glad she is on the right track now.
With the rate for infidelity being over 50% some say, there are plenty of people in the middle of extra-marital relations or contemplating them, whether negotiated or un-negotiated. The sad aspect of this is they will come up feeling empty. They will play the game and lose. It will cost them a great price. The grass may look greener on the other side, but it’s usually the crap (yes, I said crap) that makes it look green. The truth is, the grass is greener where you water it. So, water your grass. Stop looking for greener pastures to graze in.
God’s ways are always perfect. He provides us with boundaries so we don’t hurt ourselves. If we choose to ignore these boundaries we invite the consequences into our lives. Before we start tearing down fences we should consider why they were put there in the first place.
Walk good. Live wise. Be Blessed.